Lord, How Often Shall I Forgive My Brother?
May you be
willing to reach out a forgiving hand to all who have caused you pain or hurt.
During a
Retreat, we were invited to walk on a meditative journey with the Lord Jesus.
During the reflection, we were guided into three rooms. In the first room, we
were asked to think about all the people who have caused us hurt, whether that
be physical, emotional, spiritual, or mental. We are then asked to forgive
them. In the second room, we focused on all the people to whom we have caused
any sort of discomfort or against whom we have sinned. We are then asked to
seek forgiveness from them. In the third room, each person is asked to forgive
one more person – his or her self.
Forgiveness
is not just one of the many endearing qualities of our God, but it is a trait
that we must practice with others. But alone, we cannot forgive nor can we ask
for forgiveness. It is only when we are aware of how forgiving God has been to
us that we can experience forgiveness of, and from, other people.
The theme of
today’s readings is forgiveness – God’s forgiveness of us and our forgiveness
of others. The First Reading is a call to be willing to forgive those who have
harmed us. The psalm proclaims the kindness and mercy of God. In the last
chapter of his letter to the Romans, St. Paul calls us to not think of
ourselves, but to recall that we belong to the Lord Jesus. When St. Peter, in
the Gospel, asks Jesus if forgiving another seven times in one day is enough,
Jesus relates a parable about an unforgiving servant.
First Reading: Sirach 27:30-28:7: ‘Forgive your neighbour
the wrong he has done, and then your sins will be pardoned when you pray.’
Commentary: The
wise old scribe Ben Sira was on the staff of the Temple at Jerusalem (or at any
rate moved in these circles), which is why his book is usually called
“Ecclesiasticus”. He clearly has the greatest love and respect for the Temple
and the Law of God. He gathered together and reflected on the wisdom of the
ancients, aware all the time that the Lord God is the source of all true
wisdom. Most of his proverbial wisdom accords with that elusive quality, common
sense, but it is none the worse or less important for that! Here he already
looks forward to the message of today’s gospel parable: the quality of God
which we know best is the divine mercy and forgiveness. The very meaning of the
divine name revealed to Moses on Sinai is ‘God of mercy and compassion’, and
this echoes again and again down the scriptures. We are made in the image of
God, and our glory is to imitate in our own poor, human way, this divine
forgiveness. Once we see love and forgiveness as our divine mode of living, our
whole relationship with other people changes. The last few lines give us a
good, common-sense summary of the foolishness of quarrelling.
Responsorial Psalm 103:1-2. 3-4. 9-10. 11-12. The LORD is
compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger and rich in mercy.
The response for the psalm describes some of the attributes
of God: kind and merciful, slow to anger, rich in compassion. God is willing to
forgive and treat persons in a caring and compassionate way, particularly if
they are willing to manifest the same attributes in their treatment of others.
Second Reading: Romans 14:7-9: ‘Whether we live or
whether we die, we are the Lord’s.’
Commentary: The
context of this wonderful statement of Paul is the moral exhortation to the
Roman Christians towards the end of his letter. Paul has been insisting that no
one should tamper with the conscience of another. He has been discussing a
particular problem of the time, whether eating meat which had once been offered
to idols implicated the eater in idol-worship. He states his own opinion, but
will not force it on anyone else. For Paul to be living with Christ’s life
gives every Christian a dignity, a trustworthiness and a freedom ultimately to
make his or her own decision. It is a delicate balance: Paul gives his opinion,
which means that we must listen to the voice of the Church and its teachers. At
the same time he realizes the presence of the Spirit of Christ, guiding every
individual Christian who is genuinely living for the Lord. To a modern believer
this raises a host of questions. Have I really listened? Am I being simply
stubborn, deceiving myself into avoiding truths which I find inconvenient? What
is the voice of the Church? Whatever the answers, Paul’s confidence in the
guidance of the Spirit shows the dignity of the Christian and the respect with
which the Christian must be honoured.
Gospel: Matthew 18:21-35: ‘I do not say to you seven
times, but seventy times seven.’
Commentary: This
is a favourite parable of Matthew, continuing and concluding his theme that
forgiveness is the life’s-blood of any Christian community. Matthew gathers
together into one chapter the special teachings about the community of the
disciples, and half of it concerns quarrels, offences and disagreements. We
cannot live together without upsetting one another, unwittingly, or even
deliberately. So forgiveness is the vital step, and real forgiveness cements a
relationship, leaving it stronger than it was before the offence. Don’t forgive
and forget, but remember the forgiveness!
The parable expands and stresses the petition in the Lord’s
Prayer, ‘Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others.’ The importance of
this petition was already underlined by Matthew; it is the only petition of the
Lord’s Prayer to which he adds at the end a confirmatory saying of Jesus. Like
so many of Matthew’s parables, this one revolves round contrasting characters,
the ‘goodie’ and the ‘baddie’ (wedding-guests and guest without a
wedding-garment; the two who use their talents and the one who hides it; the
girls with and without oil for their lamps; the sheep and the goats). The
contrast between the two sums of money is deliberately fantastic: the first
slave owes millions of dollars, a sum no private person could ever repay, let
alone a slave; it is more than a year’s tax for a whole Roman province. The
second owes a couple of months’ wages of a casual labourer.
Reflection: Does mercy overlook justice? Justice demands that
everyone be given their due. So when is it right to show mercy and pardon to
those who have acted unjustly or wrongly? The prophet Amos speaks of God
forgiving transgression three times, but warns that God may not revoke
punishment for the fourth (see Amos 1:3-13; 2:1-6). When Peter posed the
question of forgiveness, he characteristically offered an answer he thought
Jesus would be pleased with. Why not forgive seven times! How unthinkable for
Jesus to counter with the proposition that one must forgive seventy times that.
No limit to granting
forgiveness and pardon: Jesus makes it clear that there is no limit
to giving and receiving forgiveness. He drove the lesson home with a parable
about two very different kinds of debts. The first man owed an enormous sum of
money - millions in our currency. In Jesus' time this amount was greater than
the total revenue of a province - more than it would cost to ransom a king! The
man who was forgiven such an incredible debt could not, however, bring himself
to forgive his neighbor a very small debt which was about one-hundred-thousandth
of his own debt.The contrast could not have been greater!
Jesus paid our ransom to set
us free from the debt of sin: No offense our neighbor can do to us
can compare with our own personal debt to God for offending him! We have been
forgiven an enormous debt we could not repay on our own. That is why the Father
in heaven sent his only begotten Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, who freely and
willing gave up his life for our sake to ransom us from slavery to sin, Satan,
and death. Paul the Apostle states, "you were bought with a price" (1
Corinthians 7:23 ) and that price was Jesus' death on the cross. Through the
shedding of his blood on the cross, Jesus not only brought forgiveness and
pardon for our offenses, but release from our captivity to Satan and bondage to
sin.
Set free from futile thinking
and sinful living: The Lord Jesus sets us free from a futile mind
and way of living in sin and spiritual darkness. "You were ransomed from
the futile ways inherited from your fathers ...with the precious blood of
Christ" (1 Peter 1:18). Christ "gave himself to redeem us from all
iniquity" (Titus 2:14). Iniquity describes the futile ways of wrong
thinking, sinful attitudes and wrong behavior, and disregarding or treating
God's commandments lightly. We have been forgiven an enormous debt which we
could never possibly repay. We owe God a debt of gratitude for the mercy and
grace he has given us in his Son, Jesus Christ.
Forgiving others is a sacred
duty: If God has shown mercy to us in granting us pardon for our
sins, then we, in turn, must show mercy and forgiveness towards every person
who has offended us. The willingness to forgive those who offend us is a sacred
duty. If we expect God to pardon us and show us his mercy when we sin and
disobey his commandments, then we must be willing to let go of any resentment,
grievance, or ill-will we feel towards our neighbor. Jesus teaches us to pray
daily for the grace and strength to forgive others in the same measure in which
God has forgiven us (Matthew 6:12,14-15). If we do not show mercy and
forgiveness to our fellow human beings, how can we expect God to forgive us in
turn? The Apostle James says that "judgment is without mercy to one who
has shown no mercy" (James 2:13).
Mercy seasons justice and
perfects it: Mercy is the flip-side of God's justice. Without mercy
justice is cold, calculating, and even cruel. Mercy seasons justice assault
seasons meat and gives it flavor. Mercy follows justice and perfects it.
Justice demands that the wrong be addressed. To show mercy without addressing
the wrong and to pardon the unrepentant is not true mercy but license. C.S.
Lewis, a 20th century Christian author wrote: "Mercy will flower only when
it grows in the crannies of the rock of Justice: transplanted to the marshlands
of mere Humanitarianism, it becomes a man-eating weed, all the more dangerous
because it is still called by the same name as the mountain variety." If
we want mercy shown to us we must be ready to forgive others from the heart as
God has forgiven us. Do you hold any grudge or resentment towards anyone? Ask
the Lord to purify your heart that you may show mercy and loving-kindness to
all - and especially to those who cause you grief and ill-will.
Lord Jesus, you have been kind and forgiving towards me. May
I be merciful as you are merciful. Free me from all bitterness and resentment
that I may truly forgive from the heart those who have caused me injury or
grief.
Daily Quote from the Early
Church Fathers: How often shall I forgive? by Hilary of Poitiers
(315-367 AD)
"When Peter asked him whether he should forgive his
brother sinning against him up to seven times, the Lord replied, 'Not up to
seven times but up to seventy times seven times'" In every way he teaches
us to be like him in humility and goodness. In weakening and breaking the
impulses of our rampant passions he strengthens us by the example of his
leniency, by granting us in faith pardon of all our sins. For the vices of our
nature did not merit pardon. Therefore all pardon comes from him. In fact, he
pardons even those sins that remain in one after confession. The penalty to be
paid through Cain was established at sevenfold, but that sin was against a man,
against his brother Abel, to the point of murder (Genesis 4:8). But in Lamech
the penalty was established at seventy times seven times (Genesis 4:24), and,
as we believe, the penalty was established on those responsible for the Lord's
Passion. But the Lord through the confession of believers grants pardon for
this crime. By the gift of baptism he grants the grace of salvation to his
revilers and persecutors. How much more is it necessary, he shows, that pardon
be returned by us without measure or number. And we should not think how many
times we forgive, but we should cease to be angry with those who sin against
us, as often as the occasion for anger exists. Pardon's frequency shows us that
in our case there is never a time for anger, since God pardons us for all sins
in their entirety by his gift rather than by our merit. Nor should we be
excused from the requirement of giving pardon that number of times [i.e.,
seventy times seven], since through the grace of the gospel God has granted us
pardon without measure." (excerpt from ON MATTHEW 18.10)
the stream of mercy: “Moved
with pity, the master let the official go and wrote off the debt.” —Matthew
18:27
All of us reading this should have been condemned to hell
forever because of our sins. King David committed one sin and 70,000 people
were killed (2 Sm 24:15). That’s how high the wages of sin are and why
everlasting hell is just punishment for our sins.
Because of His love for us, the Lord has been rich in mercy
(Eph 2:4). Although we have amassed monumental debts of punishment due to our
sins, Jesus’ death on Calvary has atoned for them all. He has forgiven us,
washed away our sins in His Blood, paid the price for our sins, taken our
punishment on Himself, saved us, and redeemed us (see 1 Jn 1:7).
We owe a fantastic debt of gratitude to Jesus. We can never
pay this debt, but should try. We should live no longer for ourselves, but for
Him (2 Cor 5:15). We must tell everyone about His love and mercy, and praise
Him always. Especially, we should extend forgiveness and mercy to those who
have hurt us.
After what Jesus has done for us, He expects us to do this.
If we who have been forgiven do not forgive others (Mt 18:35; cf Mt 6:14-15),
the Lord will ask us: “Should you not have dealt mercifully with your fellow
servant, as I dealt with you?” (Mt 18:33) “Should a man refuse mercy to his
fellows, yet seek pardon for his own sins?” (Sir 28:4)
Prayer: Lord, have mercy on me and through me. “While we
live we are responsible to the Lord, and when we die we die as His servants.”
—Rm 14:8 . Praise the risen Jesus, Whose mercies are inexhaustible. Merciful
Lord, Savior, and Judge, be exalted forever. Alleluia!
The personal action for
today: As I think about a time
when I was deeply hurt by another person or persons, what feeling predominated
my experience? Did I dwell only on my feeling without looking beyond myself to
the other person(s) or to God? How did my focusing on myself affect the way I
reacted to the person(s) who hurt me? As I think about my own sinfulness, what
has been the most powerful experience I have had of being forgiven by God? How
has the experience of God’s forgiveness affected me? What can I do to extend
the compassionate forgiveness to someone (or a more than one) who has/have
caused me grief? How can I help others be more forgiving of those who caused
them pain?
Saint John Chrysostom:
The ambiguity and intrigue surrounding John, the great preacher (his name means
“golden-mouthed”) from Antioch, are characteristic of the life of any great man
in a capital city. Brought to Constantinople after a dozen years of priestly
service in Syria, John found himself the reluctant victim of an imperial ruse
to make him bishop in the greatest city of the empire. Ascetic, unimposing but
dignified, and troubled by stomach ailments from his desert days as a monk,
Saint John Chrysostom became a bishop under the cloud of imperial politics.
If his body was weak, his tongue was powerful. The content
of his sermons, his exegesis of Scripture, were never without a point.
Sometimes the point stung the high and mighty. Some sermons lasted up to two
hours.
His lifestyle at the imperial court was not appreciated by
many courtiers. He offered a modest table to episcopal sycophants hanging
around for imperial and ecclesiastical favors. John deplored the court protocol
that accorded him precedence before the highest state officials. He would not
be a kept man.
His zeal led him to decisive action. Bishops who bribed
their way into office were deposed. Many of his sermons called for concrete
steps to share wealth with the poor. The rich did not appreciate hearing from
Saint John Chrysostom that private property existed because of Adam’s fall from
grace any more than married men liked to hear that they were bound to marital
fidelity just as much as their wives were. When it came to justice and charity,
John acknowledged no double standards.
Aloof, energetic, outspoken, especially when he became
excited in the pulpit, Saint John Chrysostom was a sure target for criticism
and personal trouble. He was accused of gorging himself secretly on rich wines
and fine foods. His faithfulness as spiritual director to the rich widow,
Olympia, provoked much gossip attempting to prove him a hypocrite where wealth
and chastity were concerned. His actions taken against unworthy bishops in Asia
Minor were viewed by other ecclesiastics as a greedy, uncanonical extension of
his authority.
Theophilus, archbishop of Alexandria, and Empress Eudoxia
were determined to discredit John. Theophilus feared the growth in importance
of the Bishop of Constantinople and took occasion to charge John with fostering
heresy. Theophilus and other angered bishops were supported by Eudoxia. The
empress resented his sermons contrasting gospel values with the excesses of
imperial court life. Whether intended or not, sermons mentioning the lurid
Jezebel and impious Herodias were associated with the empress, who finally did
manage to have John exiled. He died in exile in 407.
Saint John Chrysostom’s preaching, by word and example,
exemplifies the role of the prophet to comfort the afflicted and to afflict the
comfortable. For his honesty and courage, he paid the price of a turbulent
ministry as bishop, personal vilification, and exile.
